In college I smoked marijuana to cheat on tests,
wrote poetry in classrooms as my bulletproof vest.
I pretended to be crazy so I did not have to fit in.
In college I ate acid till I thought I died,
cried to my high school lover to preach at my funeral.
I missed my friends and drove drunk in their honor.
In college I asked dumb questions to get my kicks
and threw away every order from my soul.
I joined a frat where I was blindfolded and peed on.
In college there was a girl back home
I could never stop dreaming about.
I stole a girl panties and masturbated with them.
In college my frat friends picked a wasted girl and I up
and threw us in a room chanting “fuck her!”
I played with her stuffed animals instead.
In college I climbed to the rooftops at night,
feeling bizarre under stars, I made the sun rise.
I never had the heart to tell the sky it was acting.
In college I got prostitutes to come to the dorms
and paid them to cuddle with me.
I told fathers I’d never marry their daughters.
In college I fucked drunken insecure sorority girls
then threatened to kill myself in their bed.
I dry humped girls on the dancefloor to learn.
In college I had a nervous breakdown in math class,
baffled by infinity, I ran outside to solve the sun.
I stole student’s books then sold them to the bookstore.
In college I stayed up for weeks creating OCD’s,
thought I had AIDS, and never studied.
My parents picked me up and asked if I was on dope.
In college I lived on weed, speed, shroomes,
peanuts, and other people’s pain.
I walked train tracks to God and gave up laughing.
In college I sold drugs until I got robbed at gunpoint.
I jumped a train and called my friends to come get me.
I chugged Everclear till I shit myself.
In college I tasted sex while girls smoked cigarettes
and sucked on virgin Christian tits every chance I got.
I jerked off my roommate but he never came.
In college I purposely smelled the shit of Indians
and had panic attacks watching blind students walk.
My friend was raped and I told everyone like Dr. Phil.
In college I bought a guitar and never learned to play it,
detuned my roommate’s guitar when girls came over.
I listened to Blood On The Tracks and remembered.
In college I wrote short stories that never ended
about a guy looking for his contacts.
I never found my contacts.
In college I thought I was James Joyce and criticized
everyone’s art because I didn’t understand my own.
I freaked out the freaks.
In college I fed dirty pigeons my parent’s money
and got left late night in the middle of the woods.
I’d skip class because I didn’t want to face the squirrels.
In college I hid my friend’s car for a month as a prank
and agreed in handcuffs when he said it wasn’t funny.
I missed my family more than I knew how to miss someone.
In college I lived in my mind, demanding a cleaner ceiling
in my roommate’s brain, and paid teachers for grades.
I turned off the lights and woke up three days later.
In college I picked fights to bleed men’s blood,
vandalized historic property, and pepper sprayed myself.
I thought life was fucked and believed in someone else.
In college I cried in a fetal position in the shower
for hours after being visited by angels.
My RA advised my advisor for me to see a shrink.
In college I refused every boring part of me
so I would never be like them.
I talked shit professors and tried out for the theater.
In college I made out with every ugly fat girl there,
smoked crack and heard my mother’s voice.
I was certain I knew but never had a clue.
In college it was always three am,
waiting on a breeze that was waiting on me.
I fell into a huge pile of shit and did not get out.
In college I learned experience is smarter than any
institute no matter how many degrees are on the wall.
I made all the wrong choices that turned out to be right.
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